Give us a *%&^£)* break!!!

So last week sucked. Pain, immobility, hassle....and yesterday was the icing on the frickin cake...

AM - Toby woke up at 6 covered from shoulder to toes in poo - diahorrea. Soaked. Changed him, fed him and then it was my lie in. Was woken by an incredibly grumpy and miserable Rob (out of cigarettes) who decided he didn't want to take the boys to the local playgroup as we'd agreed. So I got dressed, put Toby in a buggy and Oz in his coat and off we went - no cup of tea, nothing. Rob being totally shitty but walks part way with us so he can buy fags at the shop. Oz then loses the plot as he wants to go to the shop with daddy and buy sweets. He cries all the way to the playgroup.

Got there. Playgroup closed due to staff shortage. It's freezing cold. Oz loses the plot again. So we go to the shop. Shopkeeper decides to "joke" with oscar telling him he can't have any sweets. Cue meltdown No 3. We walk to the crappy playground and play for about 10 minutes - we're all freezing.

Come home and they're both whiny. Rob has gone back to bed. Toby fills his nappy 4 times in quick succession. Toby won't eat his lunch. Oz spills milk all over the table. At 1pm I'm about to lose the plot myself so I wake Rob up and go out to get petrol. On my own. For an hour. (I also went and got some dim sum from the chinese supermarket)

Got back and went to a lovely birthday party for baby James who was one. Met some lovely people. Toby was INSANE and climbing on everything, sticking his hands in people's drinks and farting so horrendously I kept checking his nappy - just stinky wind. Oz was moderately behaved but I couldn' t relax for a second. Oh and did I mention that on Friday night I got my first proper full on period since pregnancy with Toby? So I've got killer period pain on top of all this.

It gets better.

Got home - in the car Toby filled his nappy and leaked on his car seat. Boys had some scrambled egg. I wanted to eat my body weight in chocolate but since I'm on a diet and get weighed on Sunday I couldn't. Ate no point soup instead. Not satisfying.

Got both boys to bed. Peace. Watched 10 things I hate about you - Ah Heath....you were amazing. Then realised I was really cold. Went into the kitchen to wash up. No hot water. Hm......

Rob goes up in the loft to look at the boiler - it seems dead. And the water tank is freezing. Toby wakes up from the noise of the ladder - go in and pick him up and he throws up all over me. Get him out of his cot. He pukes again. Change him. Change sheets. Breastfeed him to sleep again. I go to bed.

3am. Crying baby. Go in - poo explosion again. The house is freezing and I (tmi) sleep naked. Get him undressed - he's screaming - get him dressed and back in his slightly smelly baby sleeping bag (all the others are either covered in puke or poo and it's too cold to rely on blankets). Calm him down and again breastfeed him (he latched on while he was sat on his changing mat as I bent over to pull his vest off so I realised he was hungry/thirsty)

He woke up 2 more times in the night. But he was obviously "empty" as his clothing was intact. Rob let me sleep in again even though it was his turn. And this morning he went upstairs to the loft again and found instructions in a panel on the boiler for relighting the pilot light. After 5 attempts he's just managed it. I'm off to WW now and hope it'll be warm when I get back. I need a shower as I'm sure I smell of puke and poo.

Bad luck everywhere - what have I done to upset the universe?